Personal Touch

Welcome to the Neighborhood News

If tears could build a stairway,

And memories a lane,

I'd walk right up to Heaven

And bring you home again.

~Author Unknown (from quotegarden.com)

In our Personal Touch with Rebecca Cressman segment, she interviews Lori Paulsen. Lori is raising four beautiful children. But it is the son she didn't get to raise that changed the way she sees life and death. In 2004, Lori and her husband, Lars, were expecting a son, but an ultrasound revealed that their unborn child had a heart and brain growing outside of his body. Doctors informed the couple that the child they named "Lars" would not survive. The Paulsen’s decided to continue with the pregnancy and to celebrate each day of his unborn life by sharing special moments and experiences with him. Their unique plan was so inspiring that it influenced the way a family bereavement support program called Angel Watch counsels parents who receive the heartbreaking diagnosis that their child will most likely not survive outside the womb. Lori has written two yet unpublished books, Chapsticks in Heaven, and Catching a Fallen Star, that share her families journey celebrating life in the face of death.

It has been my experience that ‘getting over’ a miscarriage is a very hard thing to do. Sometimes people don’t know what to say, so they end up saying the wrong thing and the hurt is compounded on the receiver’s end, when they probably didn’t mean to offend. Our contributor today is Rachelle Christensen, who’s written a book entitled “Lost Children: Coping with Miscarriage.” She’s also written her article “Words Won't Make it All Better,” where she comments on these difficult times some of us have gone through. She tells us: “The one blessing we all have is our fading memory. For some, that causes fear and anxiety because you think, No, I don't want to forget my baby.

“You won't forget your baby, but hopefully you'll forget the raw edges of pain cutting into your heart when you lost your baby.” We go through so much sadness, and sometimes there are no words to console someone who's going through a hard time. If you have a friend that is suffering alone, go hug her, tell her that you love her, and let her mourn. Just be there for her. She will appreciate it.

From ‘The Millenial Star’, we have J A Benson’s article “Tears in Heaven: A LDS Perspective on Stillborn and Miscarried Babies.” In it, the writer expresses her deep sorrow at the loss of her stillborn baby, thus: “Only the parents of a miscarried or stillborn child understand the magnitude of the bonding, which occurs in the womb and the loss felt at the death of a fetus. I was surprised at the magnitude of loss for a child I had never seen with earthly eyes.” Please, read through her account. If you are one who’s gone through this pain, please know that my heart goes out to you, as one that knows.

We also wanted to recognize the quiet mothers out there, who are steadily, strongly and silently raising their children, doing what they believe is right; to them, our appreciation and gratitude. C. S. Bezas from Bella Online contributed this article to the website, mentioning these two moms that she happened to meet recently. She says: “I met two mothers just yesterday alone who are quietly toiling alongside their children, raising them in gentle patience and love, who for right now are seriously content in that experience.” I know it’s not an easy job, but the blessings are there. Just today in Relief Society we talked about patience, and the topic was President Uchtdorf’s talk from April 2010 conference (priesthood session) “Continue in Patience.” I just got reminded of how arduous, challenging and difficult that road was for me (I’m still not perfect, however, I’m being perfected in Christ, every day). I’ve had a few miscarriages and I thought I’d never have children. It took a long time to have the one and we adopted the other. We made the choices that were the best for our family, and we’re happy with them. We love our children (tender mercies of a loving Father) and I think if given the chance to do a do-over, we’d do it all over again.



To view a copy of the Neighborhood News for Monday, 26 July, please click here.

Images from www.sxc.hu/ and www.thinkstockphotos.com/