Exemplary Behavior

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How many times have we let others  rule our emotions? Do we allow it to happen often?

In an October 2006 Conference talk, And Nothing Shall Offend Them, Elder David A. Bednar commented:

"When we believe or say we have been offended, we usually mean we feel insulted, mistreated, snubbed, or disrespected. And certainly clumsy, embarrassing, unprincipled, and mean-spirited things do occur in our interactions with other people that would allow us to take offense. However, it ultimately is impossible for another person to offend you or to offend me. Indeed, believing that another person offended us is fundamentally false. To be offended is a choice we make; it is not a condition inflicted or imposed upon us by someone or something else.

"In the grand division of all of God’s creations, there are things to act and things to be acted upon (see 2 Nephi 2:13–14). As sons and daughters of our Heavenly Father, we have been blessed with the gift of moral agency, the capacity for independent action and choice. Endowed with agency, you and I are agents, and we primarily are to act and not just be acted upon. To believe that someone or something can make us feel offended, angry, hurt, or bitter diminishes our moral agency and transforms us into objects to be acted upon. As agents, however, you and I have the power to act and to choose how we will respond to an offensive or hurtful situation."

It took me a long time and all the strength that I had to figure this out for myself. The desire to talk back or give an insult for an insult is too strong. To let go of the 'natural man' in us takes courage, determination and a strong desire to become a better person for yourself, your loved ones and especially the Lord.

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To see the Neighborhood News for Friday, 26 August, please click here.

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Believe in Yourself

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On occasion we find doubt within ourselves. We feel we don’t accomplish much, or that what we do is not enough. We think less of ourselves.

Let’s share a thought from Sister Elaine S. Dalton. Her talk was given in the general conference of 2004, Young Women session, entitled Believe!

“The Lord has promised us that as we “search diligently, pray always, and be believing, … all things [will] work together for [our] good” (D&C 90:24; emphasis added). That doesn’t mean that everything will be perfect or that we will not have any trials, but it does mean that everything will be okay if we just “hang in there.” Ours is the opportunity to “be … an example of the believers” (1 Tim. 4:12), and the Savior has promised that “all things are possible to him that believeth” (Mark 9:23). So believe in yourselves. Believe that you are never alone. Believe that you will always be guided.”

The Enemy may be able to instill doubt in our souls, but let’s believe that we can triumph over the Adversary.

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To see the Neighborhood News for Wednesday, 25 May, please click here.

Befriending Others

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How do we know when we find a true friend? I read a lot of blogs (there are all kinds) for this job, and I once found one where the blogger talked about making new friends in a new city, and how hard it was to ‘couple date.’

Let me share this story from October 1992 FYE: True Friends,True to the Faith, by Ron R. Munns:

“It was the boy’s first week in high school—a new school, a new town, far from friends in the large ward where he had spent the past six years.

Who would be the friends he so desperately wanted and needed? Would they include the easygoing guy who had offered him a ride home—and shown him the cache of lurid pictures hidden in the door of the beat-up old car? Or the popular group of athletes in his history class who were waiting to see if he would share what he knew during the upcoming test? Or maybe the guy and gal in his language class who quietly did their best—and encouraged others to do the same?

That Sunday in the small branch he attended, the boy found a handful of young people from high schools throughout the area. One, a priest who was two years older than he, became a friend immediately. The friendship grew through weeks and months until the younger boy eventually found himself with an example to follow as his older friend accepted a mission call.

Looking back, the man who was that lonely boy in a new high school now understands that his true friends were the ones who encouraged him to be and do his best. They included that priest who was his example, the high school classmates whose goal was growth, and two adult home teaching companions who drove many miles to serve.

Young people often drift into friendships with peers who are simply available, either in the neighborhood or in school. But they can be taught the importance of carefully choosing good friends—friends who are good for them, who help strengthen and encourage them. Sometimes, when young people don’t understand what real friendship is, parents are able to help them see that a true friend is one who makes it easier to live the gospel of Jesus Christ.”

It’s great to be one who can encourage and guide others to do their best. That’s true friendship.

As always we welcome your comments.

To view a copy of the Neighborhood News for Monday 23 May, click here.

Be Well Rounded

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 A few conferences ago somebody mentioned the following tale. I can’t remember who it was, but I’d like to tell it again here:

"An old woman had two pots suspended at the end of a branch that she carried on her shoulders. One pot was unmarred, the other was cracked.

"Every day she’d walk to the river to get water; on the way over, the perfect pot would arrive full, but the cracked one was half empty. This happened again and again for many days, always the same result.

"After a couple of years of dwelling on its defect, the cracked pot decided to speak to the woman:

‘Dear lady, I am ashamed of myself. I can see you struggle on your way to the river, but on the way home my crack makes you lose half of the water I’m suppose to carry.

"The woman smiled and asked the pot:

‘Did you ever notice the beautiful flowers on your side of the path when we return home? I always knew you were cracked so I planted flower seeds on your side of the road. Every day we headed home, you were watering the seeds.

'Because of you, I have been able to pick beautiful flowers for my table for the last two years. Without you, I wouldn’t have such beauties at home.'”

None of us is perfect, none of us has it all figured out. Some of us are broken, in need of mending. However, in the words of Kevin Gardner, the great equalizer in this life is the gospel of Jesus Christ. It frees us, it gives us hope, and it buoys us up.

We may think that we’re of little worth, imperfect, cracked. But there’s someone who’s given all that He had to buy our freedom. We should follow Him and become healed.

In the end, it’s not how much water we were able to carry that matters, but the fact that we did it the best way we knew how.

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To view a copy of the Neighborhood News for Friday, 18 February, please click here.

Surprising Sweetness

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“A true Mormon home is one in which if Christ should chance to enter, he would be pleased to linger and to rest.” Pres. David O. McKay



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When I saw today’s newsletter I realized that I should mention families. I thought Cindy Beck’s story was so sweet, it took me back 15 or 16 years ago, when my boy was just a toddler. The feeling I had while I read it was exquisite and unforgettable.

I can only say that our families are, right now at these perilous times, our most precious treasures. Our commitment should be to the raising and watching over those special spirits that the Lord has sent our way.

Here’s an excerpt from a talk given by President Thomas S. Monson:

“The family, as we have traditionally known it, is such a refuge of safety. 'The home is the basis of a righteous life and no other instrumentality can take its place or fulfill its essential functions.' Actually, a home is much more than a house. A house is built of lumber, brick, and stone. A home is made of love, sacrifice, and respect. A house can be a home, and a home can be a heaven when it shelters a family. When true values and basic virtues undergird the families of society, hope will conquer despair, and faith will triumph over doubt.”

We should be doing all that’s in our power to do what the General Authorities have been counseling us to do for years: family prayer, family night, scripture study, and anything else that you think will keep us safe. We need to recommit ourselves daily to keep our families safe.

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To view a copy of the Neighborhood News for Friday, 4 February, please click here.

Personal Touch

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In our Personal Touch with Rebecca Cressman segment, she interviews John Waterbury, who was born in Guelph, Ontario, Canada and raised in Illinois. He is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Utah and a National Certified Counselor who has co-authored, with Lowell K. Oswald, a new book called Becometh as a Child: A Guide to Healing Emotionally, Growing Spiritually and Experiencing a Change of Heart. As a therapist, John has worked closely with child abuse victims and specializes in depression and anxiety disorders. He was nominated for the Marty Mann Award for a series of radio vignettes on alcoholism and wrote a popular weekly newspaper column that was widely read in the states of Kentucky, Texas, Utah, and Tennessee. John and his wife, Melinda, have been married for thirty-seven years. They have four children and eleven grandchildren. Here’s a link to his website: http://www.becomethasachild.com/authors/




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 Our dear friend and contributor Rachelle Christensen sent this article to us, entitled “Protecting Kids.” When her daughter came home and mentioned a classmate whose father was in jail because he had touched ‘her privates,’ a light went on inside her and she thought “After swallowing hard, I knew that I had to act on this opportunity to explain to my two daughters so that they could be safe.” Rachelle blogs at Rachelle’s Writing Spot.

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At LDS Blogs, contributor Cindy B sent her article called “Where Is Safety?” She’s concerned about all the distractions that are a concern in our world today, and she asks: “Where is safety for my children? For my family? For me?” We as parents are concerned, and worried, we look around for a place of safety. Sometimes I see myself holding my children around me, and I can clearly see the great and spacious building close by. I don’t want to fall prey of its enticements, and don’t want my children to do that either. It’s a great relief to know and see with greater clarity that the iron rod is there, strong and immovable. I know that I can hold on to it and be saved.

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Craft, anyone? This article comes from contributor Lanie at Scene of the Grime (cute name), and she calls it “Six Rules for an Easy(er) Life.” In reality, it is more than just directions to make a craft, she’s telling us how she feels and how she wants to simplify her life and put into effect her philosophy and strategies focusing on one thing: a simpler life.

To view a copy of the Neighborhood News for Monday, 1 November, please click here.

Personal Touch

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Today, we’re talking about adoption. I know that some of us have gone through one (my family included), and I know of the spiritual blessings that can come from receiving this temporal one.

In our Personal Touch with Rebecca Cressman segment, she interviews Tom and Stephanie Colligan. Tom and Stephanie write a blog, Tom, Stephanie and Krista, for expectant parents and anyone who wants to know how they feel about adoption. And, they share their adoption story with teens and adults in their community as board members of the West Valley Chapter of Families Supporting Adoption, a group sponsored by LDS Family Services that advocates on behalf of birth parents and adoptive families. They’ve been friends since the 7th grade. During the early years of their marriage they became frequent visitors to an infertility clinic before deciding that adoption was the best option for their family.

Our first article was written for us by Lauri Pendleton. She’s a dear friend, and decided to share her adoption experience with all of us. Lauri has three adopted children, and she tells us how she and her husband went about adopting a baby, how they connected with friends, and how they used resources available to all of us. She also has great advice: “If, during the process, the birth mother is asking for contact you do not feel comfortable with or would probably not follow through with, do not be afraid to voice your concern.”

Next, Michele H. Mirabile, a contributor to Segullah.com, shares her own experience with adoption in her article named “Full Circle.” Her point of view comes from the fact that she was the birthmother, and had to make the decision to give up her baby. Read through her heart wrenching account, especially when she says: “My bishop said: Adoption is a selfless act, one that will bless the lives of another family and allow you to go on with your own.

“My heart told me he was right, but I hated myself for being so gutless, so mortal. Though it eased my mind to ponder the joy my sacrifice would give others, I feared losing my child would rip a chasm in my soul that would never heal.”

Our last entry is from “LDS Blogs” and is entitled ‘Adoption: An Inspired Principle.’ Its author is Cindy B, and she mentions the Church’s position on adoption, as follows: “Children are entitled to be raised by parents who honor marital vows and who can provide love and support. Adoption can be a great blessing for many children who are born without this opportunity.” Having gone through the whole process, I can testify that this statement is true. We adopted our baby daughter ten years ago, and having met her birthmother, we know that our meeting was one of the tender mercies that the Lord grants unto us every once in a while.

 
To view a copy of the Neighborhood News for Monday, 12 July's, please click here.
 
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